Improvoker

Last night I attended Harold Night at Upright Citizen’s Brigade to catch some long-form improv.

So, after a few Harolds and a few beers I had to pee pretty badly and headed to the men’s restroom to relive myself and there was a line. Unfortunately, I psyched myself out by thinking, “I hope I can pee with all these guys behind me waiting to use the urinal” Sure enough… Pee shy.

CRAP!

I zipped up, turned around defeated, and wondered back over to the people I was sitting with. Of course, back in my seat my bladder regained it’s courage and again I had to pee like the dickens.

After the last Harold team went up, I sprinted back over to the Men’s Room and again was greeted by a line of fellow patrons all waiting to pee. “Please O’Lord,” I said to myself, “let me pee!” However, this time, I really had to pee and even my bladder couldn’t deny me release.

Then a voice from ahead said, “I have a lot of trouble peeing with other people watching.”

“It’s alright,” I said consolingly, “I had the same thing happen earlier.” The statement came out sounding a lot wierder than it would have, had we not have been in a men’s room at the time. But my friend up front couldn’t do it and left the bathroom humiliated.

Finally, it was my turn. I walked up to the urinal and hopefully waited for something to happen. And sure enough, I began to pee, but not a regular pee, this was one of those really long pees. The kind where your eyes tear up and you shoulders involuntarily shudder in relief. I must of stood there peeing for a good 3-4 minutes, now embarrassed that I couldn’t stop.